


i know it hurts sometimes (but don't let it go)

by haede



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A little bit of angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, be soft with me, honestly music is the only thing that fuels my will to actually write, i love them, im so, just a little bit!!, slow dancing at 3 AM, soft, soft kuroken because its what i deserve, song lyrics again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28530735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haede/pseuds/haede
Summary: The twilight is quietly nearing and Kenma just wants to be held.orthe author /properly/ listened to honesty by Pink Sweat$ for the first time and she is going thru it
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	i know it hurts sometimes (but don't let it go)

**Author's Note:**

> its currently 2:12 am and im having slow dancing at three am kuroken hurt/comfort brainrot
> 
> please note that this is unbetaed so excuse my mistakes ><

The night was young — or so Kenma thinks. A swift glance at the digital clock and the numbers “2:36” flashed brightly in red, which barely made the guy flinch or have any reaction at all. Kenma was used to having sleepless nights. Scratch that, he was used to being sleepless all the time. What he wasn’t used to, was overthinking unnecessary thoughts he was powerless against.

𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, the pudding head snickered at his train of thought. The other would definitely scold him for giving his time of the day thinking like this, he’d scold him for not following his curfew at all. Yes, Kozume Kenma is 26, and yes he has his curfew at 11 pm to at least make a slight effort in having a healthy lifestyle. But, Kozume Kenma also misses him right now, and he’s wearing the other’s hoodie, snuggled in their favorite blanket with the other’s lingering scent to which Kenma has been breathing in for the past three hours in their dimly-lit room that surrounds his senses and — and, Kozume Kenma is trying his hardest to stop the tears from falling.

Kuroo had to work late for these past weeks and two nights ago, he told Kenma that he had to visit a client who was from another entire region and would be gone for at least three days. This was no trouble to Kenma at first, he was able to manage just fine. So, he sent his lover with a light smack on his stomach for being too clingy and heard his laugh before walking away. It doesn’t bother Kenma at the slightest how the distance varies from time to time due to their careers, it doesn’t affect their relationship at all. It’s just that, some nights hit hard and it seemed like this was one of the nights.

Kenma, as everyone probably knows, hates interacting with other people. This changed bit by bit when he 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 (the guy doesn’t know why, but he can hear Yaku’s snarky voice) got together with Kuroo after the older finally 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 (again, in Yaku’s voice) to ask the younger when he graduated from Nekoma High. They made it official ever since and the two are nearing their ten year anniversary. Time flew by so fast and it made Kenma’s heart flutter, but at the same time he felt pained and conflicted.

He doesn’t understand where these feelings come from. He’s always been so undoubtedly sure of Tetsurou, but he can’t say the same thing about himself. Kenma’s distaste for physical touch faded as the years went by and in the blink of an eye, he was turning to be the one who yearns to be held, much to Tetsurou’s amusement even if Kenma denies it until death is upon him. Kenma especially loathes to initiate skinship, but he’d like to think that it was no problem when it comes to Tetsurou. Now that he really thinks about it, was it really okay? Does he really deserve all the love he’s getting?

Was he really doing enough? Was he enough? Kenma tries to redirect his thoughts to his up and coming projects and steady growth of his audience but the heavy feeling persists and he can’t help but feel the helplessness weighing down on him. He clenches and unclenches both of his small fists on the sheets to ground himself, but to no avail. He wants, 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 Tetsurou to hold him right now but as the thought runs through his mind, he instantly feels pain and guilt again as if he suddenly didn’t have the right to desire what he’s been selfishly having for almost a decade. 

Kenma shivers in fear. He slaps his cheek to get a grip. Everything immediately felt as if it was deja vu, he knows he felt like this before. This was way back in second year high school, when he was still unsure of his sexuality and second guessing his feelings for his best friend. Even then, Tetsurou has been so patient with him, without a fail making Kenma feel understood and giving him enough space to figure things out on his own. But when did Kenma ever return the favor? His head hurt abruptly. Was Kenma right to believe that Tetsurou has been tolerant enough because of his partner or just for the sake of being his tolerant self? Does Tetsurou deserve the love he’s been getting from Kenma, even though he deserves more and the world?

With all these raging thoughts inside the little one’s head, he barely heard the soft click of the main door outside and was surprised when the door to the room suddenly opened, revealing a drunk Kuroo Tetsurou. The man who was stumbling a bit at the door was still clad in his tight fit button up with the long sleeves folded, showing his toned arms which Kenma swears he doesn’t stare at occasionally, and nothing but a soft small smile on his face, looking down at the mess of a Kozume Kenma ruining their bed sheets.

“Are you drunk?” Kenma asks in a small voice.

“No,” Tetsurou chuckles. “I’m Kuroo.”

Kenma can’t help but smile despite the emotional war he just had. “You shouldn’t be home at this hour.”

“And you,” Tetsurou sways a bit. “shouldn’t be awake at this hour.” He drops the jacket on his hand and shuffles towards the bed. The smile on his face instantaneously vanished when he saw the state of Kenma’s face, to which the latter turned his face to the other side.

“Hey,” Tetsurou asked in the softest voice possible, making Kenma’s heart feel soft and pained again. A warm, big hand cupped his cheek and turned his face back, and Kenma saw nothing but the most mesmerizing and most sincere eyes staring back at him. Kenma didn’t utter a word. They just looked at each other, taking each other’s presence in as if it’s been too long. Tetsurou knew better than to talk when his lover was not ready, so he got up, much to Kenma’s confusion and turned the radio on, letting soft music engulf their small little world.

“Let’s dance.” Tetsurou mutters.

Kenma let out a noise of disgruntlement, but the taller was not having any of it. He pulled the blanket from Kenma and grabbed both of his tiny hands he missed holding so much, and gently pulled him in a sitting position. Kenma still didn’t budge, making Tetsurou pout.

The taller placed his knee on the bed and leaned closer to the smaller but lost his balance. Fortunately, the latter was able to catch him in time. They both stared at each other briefly before laughing together. Kenma missed him so much.

“What are you doing?” Kenma asks.

“I want to dance with you.” Tetsurou says.

“It’s three am.” Kenma states matter-of-factly.

“And? There’s no rule prohibiting dancing at three am.” Tetsurou deadpans. He tries to grab Kenma’s hand again, but this time as gentle as he can. He squeezes the small hand in his huge, warm palm and Kenma’s chest aches all over, looking at how his lover gazes at his hand as if it’s his most prized possession.

“Tetsu…” Kenma weakly whispers, as a new song softly plays in the background.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, '𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥?”

“Kenma, will you dance with me?”

𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳, "𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩. 𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦."

Kenma sniffles unwillingly and stands up, Tetsurou guiding Kenma’s hands around his neck and his own hands wrapping around Kenma’s waist. They stumbled around for a while due to Tetsurou’s tipsiness, but eventually found their unsteady rhythm. It was difficult to manage and tiring, but it was also more than enough.

Tetsurou placed a soft kiss on Kenma’s forehead. “I missed you.”

Kenma can’t hold back the sob anymore. His tears were flowing as he buried his face on Tetsurou’s chest. No words were needed because Tetsurou already knew. He knew.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, "𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱? 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘦? 𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸"

“You’re drunk.” Kenma mumbled instead, repeating what he asked from minutes ago. It doesn’t escape Tetsurou’s notice how Kenma’s hug tightened even more. He smiles and lifts one hand to stroke at Kenma’s head absentmindedly.

“And you’re beautiful.” Tetsurou murmurs, making Kenma almost immediately look up with tearful eyes and a befuddled gaze.

𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳, "𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰."

“And tomorrow morning I’ll be sober,” Tetsurou continues, tightening his grip on Kenma’s waist and moving his hand from the brunette’s head to his chin. “But you’ll still be so, so beautiful.” 

He leans down to capture his lover’s lips in a chaste kiss. 

I love you. The words weren’t spoken out loud, but it’s all that can be felt.

'𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
'𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶  
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

**Author's Note:**

> yes i referenced the last scene from a movie and yes my heart is aching all over
> 
> mini storytime !!  
> i actually wrote this on a whim bc i was watching wayv's dream plan (hello fellow wayzennies) and my baobei xiaojun sang it and thought it was familiar,, so i searched it up and realized it was a famous song i've been hearing everywhere. and so i looked up at the lyrics and BAM, this soft kuroken content was born  
> (stan wayv/nct cowards)
> 
> have a happy new year everyone, wishing you all a safe, healthy and prosperous 2021! <3
> 
> to more content, hopefully, on this account uwu


End file.
